Momma tries 30 days Challenge

OKAY! Since I’m fed up receiving comments such as I did gain weight — a lot of weight! So I finally decided to search for new ways to blast this stubborn fats and cellulites that I got after eating the world for the past months (I missed doing so and not considering that I already gave birth thus it resulted to this), now, I’m going to try the 30 days Challenge.

 

I’ll get back with this post for daily update. Hope this works!

When a Pluviophile meets Motherhood

pp5RgTGrYb2qskoXk35ptlfpfFQdQcpWH0WfAdTNnsI

Photo credits to http://www.reddit.com

 

“It’s raining! Don’t go outside, you might get sick!”

 

Probably you’ve heard of this at least once in your life, especially, when you were just a kid. I remember one time when I was so eager to play outside, but my mother told me just to stay indoors since it’s raining. During that time, my only way to kill the boredom is to watch cartoons — full of replay episodes that is!

 

They kept on prodding whenever I asked them if I could play in the rain, but sometimes when I am on my sneaky self, I just go out and do what I wanted to do; then the next day, I’ve been whining about having clogged nose or fever.

 

Now that I am a mother, I told myself that I won’t bar my daughter if she wanted to experience dancing in the rain, probably, or should I say most likely, I’ll join her while she’s enjoying soaking herself in the rain. I wouldn’t be a hindrance to her little joys, just to be sure that it won’t be deadly then by all means she’s allowed to do what she please.

 

It’s not that I’m becoming a very lenient mother, but I just want her to experience it first hand on why her mother loves rain. She may appreciate it or not, at least she somehow had a chance to know what’s with the rain. Being a Pluviophile, I enjoy almost everything about rain, sans lightning and thunder. I really don’t know why I love it, I just do. Whenever I travel, especially the long ones, I always wish that it rains; then I’m going to plug my earphones, and start reminiscing or meditating. For some, it might be a bad day when it rain, but for me, it soothes my soul and drive my mood; and most of the time, give answers to my questions.

The Curious case of Stranger Anxiety

baby crying

 

I thought this day would never come. As much as I wanted her to be sociable, it wasn’t that easy, especially now.

 

For the past months, my daughter would interact with people around her even though she have met them at least once in the past. For the first few minutes, she will just observe how our visitors interact with her, then after which she’ll respond with them; that’s how she is for the past 8 months, but now it’s a different story.

 

Since she’s used to be just inside our house because I only have weekends to bring her to the mall or go outside so we’re often stuck. I don’t know if it does really affect her or I’m just overthinking, but I noticed for the past weeks, she chooses whose going to carry or play with her.

 

If before everyone is her playmate, now, she just wanted us — me, my mother, my sister, my aunt, my cousin and our dog. She would rather play with our dog sometimes compared to us! Sometimes I blame my hectic schedule because I am having a hard time balancing my work and bonding time with her. As much as I wanted to have more time with her to teach her, and talk to her my schedule doesn’t permit me to do so.

 

Even if I work remotely, still, my working hours and her playtime hours are different. She’s sleeping while I’m working, and she’s awake while I am sleeping. I can’t stay awake for more than 18 hours or my vertigo will attack and it will have a domino effect not just to her but with my work as well.

 

They said that it will pass as she grows up, but I am just wondering how come it manifest just now, she’s turning 1 in 2 months yet she suddenly have this. Well, as the saying goes, you cannot predict what will happen next. I’m just hoping that on her birthday she’ll get to interact with her guests and especially with her playmates.

 

GIF courtesy of GIPHY

Christina Vienne @ 1oth month

13177472_233288077046852_332561433701915479_n

(typo error on her name, it should be “Vienne”)

Every 13th of the month, we are used to have a mini-celebration of my daughter’s months-birthday.

 

Last night, my mom and I almost forgot that today is her 10th-month birthday celebration. If I’m not mistaken, we just figured it out around 11pm last night. Since my mom loves my daughter so much, so she always cooks something special for her dear grand-daughter.

 

 

Happy 10th month my darling daughter!

 

 

Two lines means…

I remember the very first time that I questioned myself if I am indeed pregnant, but after a minute or two I’ll ditch the idea. I know there’s something wrong in my system but I couldn’t figure it out. My menstruation was 1 week delayed, which I thought was just normal since I always experience delays especially when I was still in my teenage years.

 

It was very peculiar that I decided to go to church that day, and get a test kit prior going home. While walking through the mall (since my unit is at the back of a mall so I will have to pass by there just to get to the transport terminal), I saw like 10 or more family holding a baby, if you happen to know me personally, I’m that type of person who believes in signs so I got anxious again. I kept on thinking what if I am indeed pregnant, how am I going to say it to my family? and worst to the baby daddy. I felt mixed emotions passing by the mall and seeing those families, but then again I ditched the idea.

 

I solemnly prayed that if whatever the result would be, His will be done. After praying, I went straight to the nearest (more like few meters away from the church) drug store to buy test kit and a yogurt drink. Funny thing was I forgot the yogurt drink, so the guard called me back to get it (forgetfull!) then I waited for a jeep going home.

 

Upon reaching my unit, I decided to have it tested. I couldn’t wait until tomorrow, and besides whatever the result now won’t be different tomorrow so I proceed. It was the longest 1 minute of my life, really! That’s how eager I am to know if I am indeed carrying a little bundle of joy inside me…and here it is!

 

IMG_1765

Two lines… Uhh… Okay, two lines.  So what does that mean?

 

Call me stupid or something but seriously, those were the first sentence I uttered upon seeing those two lines. After like few seconds, there, I started crying. I don’t know why I cried after seeing the result. It’s not that I’m scared or what but I felt like I am indeed female (my friends will serve as a witness how I tag myself as a male, well even my daughter’s father). After awhile, I caught myself staring at it and here comes my mind again…

 

Is this accurate? Or probably this thing is broken since I bought it cheap. Oh well, I still have another one. I’ll just try it tomorrow if it’s still the same result then…okay.

 

Ditching the idea again, that’s how I am. I just continue watching movies, then went to bed.

 

The next day, I woke up extra early since my baby’s daddy is going to visit me in the morning so I have to prepare something, and I am currently craving for a cake. It was just 5am, and I just waited until I need to hit the bathroom just to test again. After an hour here goes the call of nature so I brought the test kit with me. A minute have passed, and the result is still the same. If yesterday I breakdown, this time, I was just smiling while holding it.

 

Ha! Okay I’m pregnant, I need to buy a cake now, I’m hungry.

 

While heading to my favorite bakeshop, I was thinking how am I going to tell my baby’s daddy that we’re going to be parents soon — I really don’t have an idea how to break the news. I have then decided not to tell him yet until I am 100% sure that I am indeed pregnant, so I just let the day passed on and we just enjoyed it by eating ice cream, cake and spaghetti.

 

The very next day, I felt something weird. Whenever I see the Parmesan cheese bottle, I get dizzy that I just wanted to throw up. I told him about it and he said that…

 

“Bakit parang ngayon ka lang naglilihi?”  (Why is it that you’re showing signs of pregnancy just now?)

 

Not everyone knows, I suffered from blighted ovum last May 2014. All the signs of pregnancy from nausea and vomiting, missed period, etc were present, but it didn’t develop into an embryo. I just knew about it last September 2014, then by  October 2014, I got pregnant with my daughter thus he told me that.

 

As much as I wanted to tell him that I’m pregnant, I wanted to be sure this time that there’s already a heartbeat and the baby is already formed. Instead of saying so, I told him probably I’m just stressed out, then he told me to go to the doctor for check up which I refused.

 

The very next day, I woke up very early not because I have to, but because I suddenly felt that I need to throw up. I rushed to the bathroom, and did it. I told him about it and he insisted that I should go to the doctor immediately, but then again I resisted. I just thought that I was just stressed and that it affected my entire system, but it’s really weird.

 

After like few weeks, he discovered that I am indeed pregnant because someone broke the news. He asked me if it’s then that’s how he learned about it.