I remember the very first time that I questioned myself if I am indeed pregnant, but after a minute or two I’ll ditch the idea. I know there’s something wrong in my system but I couldn’t figure it out. My menstruation was 1 week delayed, which I thought was just normal since I always experience delays especially when I was still in my teenage years.
It was very peculiar that I decided to go to church that day, and get a test kit prior going home. While walking through the mall (since my unit is at the back of a mall so I will have to pass by there just to get to the transport terminal), I saw like 10 or more family holding a baby, if you happen to know me personally, I’m that type of person who believes in signs so I got anxious again. I kept on thinking what if I am indeed pregnant, how am I going to say it to my family? and worst to the baby daddy. I felt mixed emotions passing by the mall and seeing those families, but then again I ditched the idea.
I solemnly prayed that if whatever the result would be, His will be done. After praying, I went straight to the nearest (more like few meters away from the church) drug store to buy test kit and a yogurt drink. Funny thing was I forgot the yogurt drink, so the guard called me back to get it (forgetfull!) then I waited for a jeep going home.
Upon reaching my unit, I decided to have it tested. I couldn’t wait until tomorrow, and besides whatever the result now won’t be different tomorrow so I proceed. It was the longest 1 minute of my life, really! That’s how eager I am to know if I am indeed carrying a little bundle of joy inside me…and here it is!
Two lines… Uhh… Okay, two lines. So what does that mean?
Call me stupid or something but seriously, those were the first sentence I uttered upon seeing those two lines. After like few seconds, there, I started crying. I don’t know why I cried after seeing the result. It’s not that I’m scared or what but I felt like I am indeed female (my friends will serve as a witness how I tag myself as a male, well even my daughter’s father). After awhile, I caught myself staring at it and here comes my mind again…
Is this accurate? Or probably this thing is broken since I bought it cheap. Oh well, I still have another one. I’ll just try it tomorrow if it’s still the same result then…okay.
Ditching the idea again, that’s how I am. I just continue watching movies, then went to bed.
The next day, I woke up extra early since my baby’s daddy is going to visit me in the morning so I have to prepare something, and I am currently craving for a cake. It was just 5am, and I just waited until I need to hit the bathroom just to test again. After an hour here goes the call of nature so I brought the test kit with me. A minute have passed, and the result is still the same. If yesterday I breakdown, this time, I was just smiling while holding it.
Ha! Okay I’m pregnant, I need to buy a cake now, I’m hungry.
While heading to my favorite bakeshop, I was thinking how am I going to tell my baby’s daddy that we’re going to be parents soon — I really don’t have an idea how to break the news. I have then decided not to tell him yet until I am 100% sure that I am indeed pregnant, so I just let the day passed on and we just enjoyed it by eating ice cream, cake and spaghetti.
The very next day, I felt something weird. Whenever I see the Parmesan cheese bottle, I get dizzy that I just wanted to throw up. I told him about it and he said that…
“Bakit parang ngayon ka lang naglilihi?” (Why is it that you’re showing signs of pregnancy just now?)
Not everyone knows, I suffered from blighted ovum last May 2014. All the signs of pregnancy from nausea and vomiting, missed period, etc were present, but it didn’t develop into an embryo. I just knew about it last September 2014, then by October 2014, I got pregnant with my daughter thus he told me that.
As much as I wanted to tell him that I’m pregnant, I wanted to be sure this time that there’s already a heartbeat and the baby is already formed. Instead of saying so, I told him probably I’m just stressed out, then he told me to go to the doctor for check up which I refused.
The very next day, I woke up very early not because I have to, but because I suddenly felt that I need to throw up. I rushed to the bathroom, and did it. I told him about it and he insisted that I should go to the doctor immediately, but then again I resisted. I just thought that I was just stressed and that it affected my entire system, but it’s really weird.
After like few weeks, he discovered that I am indeed pregnant because someone broke the news. He asked me if it’s then that’s how he learned about it.